yeah!! i took my drugs today.. lol.

so i am feeling pretty happy..

well..

i've been feeling so out of place recently..

like i dun belong anywhere..

and my paranoid mind is overpowering me..

it just tells me it is safe to cross..

and i would really think its safe..

and cross..

when! it isn't the green man yet..

i saw the red man..

and i felt its safe to cross liao..

stupid me..

i think my brain is no longer functioning properly..

lol...

while i was packing my things..

i saw the letters i had..

from i was primary sch..

to secondary..

and even till after i graduate..

hui wen.. vanessa.. --> primary

vanessa, shi hui, tiffany ---> secondary

tiffany ----> after secondary..

lewis phuah lik chew-----> someone special..

but most of tiff's letters are still in my table's drawer in my house..

well..

reading letters brings back alot of memories..

and make me wanna be a secondary school kid again..

most importantly i saw 2 letters from the someone special..

this guy ah..

i like him since pri 4..

lol..well..

his profile:

twins.. had a older brother ernest..

personality: quiet and shy.. lol..

born in october..

haha..

well..

anyway..

that's not the main point..

let me tell u all a story den.. since i am so bored.. (only meant for pple who are bored)

once upon a time.. in bedok town primary school class 4b..

there is a trend that is going on in the class. the trend of asking your friends to describe who they like. so every now and then, there would be little boys asking little girls who is the boy she likes.. hoping she would also ask them the same question in order for the boys to confess to the girls.. yes.. at this age.. so. yy is always talking in class even though they are sat in single rows. but she would always turn around to this guy call Z. he would always entertain her when she is bored in class. and one day.. Z asked yy the question. but yy said she would only answer if Z answered first. and well. he slowly described her out.. and it seems to be yy.. but she just acted blur to live longer as she has very low self-esteem even at such a age. and she continued to guess all the girls in class with short hair until she gave up with Z feeling disappointed. so when it is yy's turn to give clues.. she is so stupid as to mention that he is a twin.. coz there is only one pair of twins in class. so very quickly, Z knew that yy was talking about L. after that day.. Z took yy home's telephone no. from her. and calls her straight after school every afternoon.. after a while.. it really terrifies her a bit.. coz she has to be on the phone for hours before she can change out of her uniform.. and to end the call.. she always has to lie that her brother is back.. haha.. stupid..

anyway.. after a while.. yy feels that she can no longer act as if nothing happens.. and asks if Z likes her. he confessed and yy rejected him coz she likes L. however, Z was a gentleman and said he knows, but he said just likes chatting to her.. after the confession, Z tried to be a matchmaker between yy and L. which was horrible coz yy had hardly ever talked to L.. and coz Z was good friends with L, he went to ask him the question too.. of course Z went to tell yy wad was L's answer. she was delighted when she heard that it was her.. soon, yy and L got more chance to interact with each other and they spoke very shyly to each other everytime... it was like. those purely like you kinda thing.. and they enjoyed each other company while playing the english chess together during all the break time. so wad happened to Z? it happens that Z is going to move house and changing school le. that was the reason why he was anxious to put L and yy together.. so after that, yy also received lesser calls from Z and gradually to no calls at all..

however, things don't go smoothly all the time. then, there came this time when E (L's older brother) went to tell yy that L doesn't like her anymore and likes another girl called S. so being a crybaby, yy cried immediately and ignored everyone in class. luckily it was after p4 streaming.. so there were no lessons. L saw wad happened and tried to talk to yy. but she was just in her own world crying her hearts out. she only stopped when she had to go down for recess coz there is going to be alot of pple. on her way down to recess alone, (coz the others already chiong down, but she need to dry her tears first) L stopped her at the staircase, pulled her arm out and put a card (cut from a drawing block) on her hand. the card wrote, "i'm sorry.. i dun like S.. i like you" and he left his contact no. (dunno for wad) and his name at the bottom. he also drew alot of funny faces in the card. yy was elated, but she went to confront L after recess wad exactly happen. actually it was E's idea to tease her and has got nothing to do with L. after that, everything went back to normal but S was really unhappy with yy coz she also likes L, and she told all the girls in class to not friend her. yy was outcasted at pri 4. yes.. pri 4.. but she cant be bothered with them.. so she continues to play chess with L without being officially together until.. the day results were released. yy went to 5A whereas L continues to stay in class B. during the whole of pri 5, they only manage to see each other during chinese lesson and often smile shyly when their eye met. they only get to know how each other was through friends and never spoke a word.

primary 6. yy continues to stay in class A and he continues to stay in class B. that year, bedok town primary merged with telok kurau primary that year and they moved to the new campus. yy got to know this girl called V from 6B coz she is having maths with 6A and after that, she also got to know that V is sitting next to L in class. so naturally yy would have tons of questions to ask V about L. yy was a little worried that year coz she was afraid that he would like V as V was very pretty and is sitting with him everyday. days past, with him looking into 6A's window, trying to spot her, or her walking pass 6B trying to spot him. she kept on thinking that there will be no hope for them coz yy thought V is a really nice girl and he would surely have a change of heart especially when V already told him she likes him. yy was feeling rather disappointed until one day, during the study hour after school in the com lab, he used the teaching software's chatting program to talk to yy. it was not allowed and those caught will be scolded coz they are suppose to study and not chat. the id display for the chatting programs is only their nric no, and they cant change it to their name or anything. so yy ask who this person is, and he said he is L. this is the first time they spoke after they went to p5. but yy chose not to believe and thought it was someone playing a prank on her. she kept on asking the person not to lie, and he kept insisting that he wasnt lying until there was no more reply from him. so feeling curious.. yy wrote a note to him, and asked V to pass it to him and she also found out from V that L was caught chatting and got scolded. so yy assumed that is why there is no more reply from him.. surprisingly, he replied his last letter to her.. and said, yup, it was him who chatted to her that day, he saw yy's name and nric no. on the notice board where they display the physical fitness test results. while reading, the first thing that came to yy's mind was, "heng i got gold! muahahahahaha.. not so paiseh" the second thought was, "woah.. he even bothered to go look for my name and memorised my ic no. and after that look for my ic no through the whole list of no. in the com lab that day" feeling touched, yy was convinced that she like this little boy more than ever.. so since then.. when ever there is no teacher around, she would purposely walk past his class to sneak a peak at him. however, they still didnt spoke to each other. they were too shy.. even until they got their psle results.. she only got to know wad sch he got into through V. st hildas sec.

after that they went their own way though yy would always think about him every now and then.. sometimes yy would even hope to meet him on the streets coz she wonders how he is now.. wad a sweet sweet love they had.. =)

i wonder.. what would happen if they weren't so shy in the past..